I have been raised in a culture that has for generations praised and rewarded doing.
A doing that is measured most often by success over another thereby encouraging competition, comparison, separation.
In not taking part in a game that is set by rules I don’t agree with I have been labelled as asocial, problematic or even a threat.
But as I attempted to stop all outward action my brain still functions on overdrive.
Conscious that even as I write this I am choosing, doing, creating.
My ‘real’ work becomes dealing with my own fear and guilt.
If I don’t do what is agréable or accetabile, I won’t belong.
Guilty.
If I don’t belong, I won’t be loved.
Fearful.
If I am not loved I will die alone.
More fear.
In non-doing I am working on setting myself free.
In non-doing I am be-ing more of who I feel I really am.
In non-doing I discover what it is I really want to be do-ing.
A do-ing that is not dictated by fear or guilt.
A do-ing that spontaneously springs forth as an act of love, passion, the joy of being alive.
It might not make me a millionaire but it will save me from a life of ‘slavery’.
In non-doing I discover that it is the light that shines through me that carries the light.
It is my choice to contain it or not.
In non-doing I realise I am always loved no matter what!