THE SPACE BETWEEN US

The space between us is not empty. The space between us is full of energy!

Spoken or unspoken, demonstrative or withheld, the space between us is full of feelings, emotions, sensations, thoughts, projections, expectations and memories.

In the space between us is where our personal and individual boundaries lie. There is a give and take continuum between two people, which is always pulsating with an exchange of energies.

Imagine this like two individual bubbles pulsating, moving towards each other, sometimes merging but sometimes moving further away.

The alchemy is in the merging but the space between us can feel good or not so good as it is influenced by a number of important factors in our life:

  • By the physiological characteristics of the body we occupy.
  • By the space we occupied in our mother’s womb.
  • By the space defined between our parents and us.
  • By the space defined between our parents.
  • By the interpersonal space our collective cultures define as acceptable.

Ultimately all the above will define how comfortable we feel to occupy our own bodies and our place in life.

KEY No 1 BECOMING AWARE OF THE SPACE BETWEEN US CULTIVATES RESPECT AND PEACEFUL COHABITATION.

The way we have been taught to occupy the space between us will determine our potential intimate relationships and in turn the relationships with our own children, our neighbors or indeed with other humans on this planet.

Touch, hugs, kisses, affection, love, intimacy, affluence, jealousy, aloneness, fear, control, power, independence, freedom are all colored by the space between us.

Given too much space when growing up, for example, without any clearly defined borders and boundaries, can feel daunting and instill fear and anxiety rather than a sense of freedom.

Too little space, on the other hand, can feel tight and restrictive with a number of reactive behaviors resulting from that.

KEY No2 THE SPACE WE OCCUPY IS NOT ONLY PHYSICAL

Observing the quality of the space between us, requires a delicate awareness and a keen sense of practice.

Often as parents or adults, we adopt liberties with the space we occupy simply because we physically take up more space than little people or because the other is yet unable to clearly say no. This space is normally recalibrated when the child reaches adolescence.

Babies occupy more space than just their physical boundaries, however. Their energy comes in a much bigger bundle than what fits in our embrace.

Very often, a baby’s dynamic space is greater than that of a fearful mother’s, whose energy has contracted and is therefore holding onto baby close and tight.

Generally speaking the distance we maintain with another is so ingrained in our systems that actions and reactions are instinctive.

KEY No 3 THE SPACE BETWEEN US IS DEFINED BY OUR OWN PERSONAL NEEDS

We tend to hold another at a distance that is comfortable to us first, before we gauge if that distance is comfortable for another.

In pool observations between parents and babies we often see how it’s the parents’ fear or discomfort that determine how baby is being held in the water rather than the child’s apprehension.

Similarly, a baby’s cues for closeness that are repeatedly overseen will most likely lead to unhealthy relationship patters in the future.

KEY No4 CLOSE PROXIMITY OF THE SPACE BETWEEN US CAN MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN WHOSE IS WHAT

Because of this last key fact, we often project our own needs onto another or interpret the needs of another based on our own way of seeing.

Water is very revealing of the space between us. It’s connective and intimate nature make Water a very powerful tool for forging healthy relationship bonds and clear borders and boundaries.

Particularly at the very early stages of learning how to swim when the parent child relationship is also compensating for a fear of drowning or simply because of not knowing how to best hold another in an aquatic environment, our inbuilt relating patterns rise to the surface, so to speak, and are more clearly visible.

Baby swimming classes are the ideal practice to explore healthy parent child borders and boundaries that are defined by awareness and respect for another’s need for space.

KEY No5 DEVELOPING A CONSCIOUS PARENTING PRACTICE

#Waterhappy empowers people to love water and themselves.

By becoming aware of our own borders and boundaries we become more observant of others’ personal space and in turn we get into the practice of feeling into the space that this creates between us.

If you would like to know more about our Aquatic Embodiment Sessions or Conscious Water Parenting Classes please do drop us a line at iamwaterhappy@gmail.com.